nothing makes you feel good

today:
- was probably the best day in the week.
- we talked about ben.
as usual la tu. :)
- we laughed at the thought of ben having sex for the first time.
and we said we'll all share him a stripper
for his belated birthday present.
cause you know, he's not gonna get any girl. i mean come on,
its BEN. AHA!
we love you benny boy. :)
- nearly fell asleep in class.
-my head was literally banging and my eyes were stingy.
-i didnt hate chem so much.

OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUET MUN! :)

ive been sleeping at 2.30 in the morning and waking up at 6 for the past two days.
shoot me.
its either im studying,
or i just havent been able to sleep.
sigh.
and all this for SPM.
you suck.


xx

you summoned me.

reincarnation is never the way to go.
but only if you're a widowed fool who believed there ever was a reason to come back to this wrecked and wicked world we all were originated from, then i guess you could be excluded.

people leave this world only under the circumstances that there could no longer be anything more that they could or would want to have,need or want.

i feel as though i’ve died during the early days where william shakespeare conquered the literature scene.
i feel as though i’ve died since the angels told me that i no longer deserve to be in this world.
i feel as though i’ve died since you murdered the only essence that connected you and i together.

but then again, who am i to blame it all on you?
maybe if you loved me more enough, i would have stayed here in this bitter lonely world and embrace everything that we were gonna go up against.
not like it wont happen now.
after all, im here typing now arent i?
and then i think to myself,there could only be one reason why certain parts of my body still shatters and shivers at the sight of your smile, or even why my eyes cant part from yours and sometimes, why i have been here trying to help you all this while.
its cause you are like the after glow of a firefly haunting my memory with a strange embrace.
i am (not because you chose me ) none other than your guardian angel.
as much as i hate being in this planet.
you summoned me not for the reasons i expected. but simply because i couldnt bear to think that someone else can take care of your better than i can.

i guess i just needed you to want me back in your world as much as i needed to get out of mine.

ooo yeah.

today:
- we did more jps papers and other state papers.
it seems to be the only thing we do nowadays.
- had fun in bm. (suprisingly) it kinda passed by really quickly too.
- in ict class the guys went omegele.
which is this online website where you can talk to strangers.
its so hillarious.
but the things the guys were saying. lol
and we told thomas this is his practice to get to *********.
:)
- i annoyed mr sai mun as usual. :)
i know he loves me deep down inside. ahahha.
-ive had that constant banging in my head the whole day.
(due to only having 4 hours of sleep)
fml.

im gonna go eat. and get back to my studying.
xx

silent screams

today:
-i feel EXTREMELY exhausted.
-we did the JPS papers for nearly every subject.
-i hated chemistry even more.
-we called kareem crippled. :) cause he sprained his ankle. lol
- i saw you.
- we teased ben like shit.

im gonna go study in a while.
i wanna sleep for a wee bit more. -.-

xx

second thoughts.

school starts tomorrow.
i am not looking forward to it.

not one bit.
because that means
-i have to see mr mohan. -.- (whom btw i did not finish his homework cause i was
just too lazy to do so)
-i have to see all the irritating teachers who drill us
about trials.
-i have to sit through 6 hours of the day doing
nothing at times.
-i have to wake up early again.
- i have to see you again.


direct from the little brother,

peace homie.
im out.

xx

if i wrote a story bout my life, i wouldnt know where to begin.

i got up at 6 today.
suprisingly i was actually up before that around 5 something
heh.

headed to the airport, and guess who i saw.
wasnt enough that i saw him last night. -.-
yes, adrian tan.
my 'makwe'. heh. so the guards think. -.-

went back home around 9 ish? and went straight to sleep. got up about an hour ago.
with sheer panic and anxiety. :/
i swear it wasnt funny.
my heart was racing. i felt like everything was closing in on me.
and then i started breathing really hard.
and i got scared.
and then i was just lying there crying.

my anxiety attacks happen way WAY to often.
i need tranquilizers.

i have nothing to do but study.
how wonderful.
last day of the hols.

xx

change of plans,
looks like im going for trins open house after all.

be back with pics. :)

edit://
so plans got screwed up and i didnt end up going for trins.
how sad.
its the first year i missed her open houses.
i never miss them. heh

so instead i called adrian tan.
and we went to hartamas square for my dinner. heh.
bumped into faez and aiman there.
and such a bummer.
no cute mak salleh guys there.
:(

back home.
mumma's leaving for aus tomorrow.
and im getting up at 6 to send her off.
mother f.
ive been waking up at 12 the whole week.
its gonna be so painful tomorrow.
sigh.
all in the name of love.

xx

never did i imagine..

it amazes me how many lifeless readers end up reading this blog.
cause that number by the side seems to be increasing
gradually.
is my blog that interesting?
heh

im skipping the opportunity to go for pak lah's
open house in putrajaya
to do what instead?
ADD MATHS.
yes. im gonna do add maths once im done online.
and hopefully, mum would let me out with adrian tonight for dinner.

sigh.
im extremely tired.

xx

kicking it demie style.

didnt sleep till 4 last night.
dont ask why.
heh.

im in serious need of sleep.
i have add maths and maths tuition later. whopee.

on another brighter note,
i met up with

yes. nasri. :)
thank you dearie for being super calm whiles listening to me
ramble on about nonsensical things.
lol. but atleast you know what im going through.
sigh.
not many do.
but thank you for the open ears. :)

i just realized how bad my eye bags are.
oh dear lord.
i need more sleep.

xx

why la why.

ask me how my day was so far.
please do!

first, i got up.
and argued with mum on the phone.
since i was home bound, i decided why not just sleep in till later and then
i'll study since i have the whole day.
and then,
while i was sleeping
POOF!
the electricity went off. -.-
and guess how long it was off for.
close to 4 FREAKING HOURS. -.-
it just came on btw.

and so what did i do in between that?
i showered with low water pressure cause the pump wasnt working.
i studied sejarah and chem.
and i was sweating like a pig the whole time.
and guess what,
im still alone at home. -.-

fml.

im going to relax.
i need tranquilizers seriously.

xx

morning.

happy birthday to:



delia.


bradley! :)

maria. :)

hope you guys have an awesome one.

and now im gonna shower and get going with my work.
fml.

xx

dont count on it.

today:
- i went to the curve for the 'fakkas reunion'.
it was hillarious la.
we laughed like SOO much.
-watched the ugly truth. and concluded that
guys dont really listen to us girls unless its related to sex. lol
survey proved by greg and joel.
- we gossiped like banyak banyak and i mean BANYAK.
-we and they reminisced bout the old days.

"ive never went to ikea with my friends to hang out. lol"
-benny chin.
well there's a first time for everything.


it was super fun.
from the (n1h1 to ben's bobbling head and others)
it was the bomb. :)
i had such a GREAT day. :)




the only main reason we all went out.
joel.






benny and faez


nikki


greg












i was mocking him. :D


you dont know how scary it is to look at him and see the splitting image of you staring right
back at me.
you cant imagine. :/

nikki's capturing moments. :D









we discovered bout ben's bobbling head when he laughs.




















ikea baby. ;)






dinner at Manhattan fish market.

on another note:

happy birthday to

kawan ku.
celine.
my first ever friend.
:)
all the best love, we'll reunite after spm k?


jeffrey.
anakku/neighbour. :)
happy sweet 16th.

tomorrow:
im studying.
i have no choice.

xx