mental meltdown

it's tuesday and ive never seen the week go by so fast.

im scared. like literally.
my heart's racing and pounding and im not sure how im gonna get through all of this.
on sunday i broke down. at cheer in front of everyone.
embarrassing, i know.
call me anal,
but i need everything to be perfect.

things are finally looking up.
cheer is going somewhat better. well except for the fact that i cant do a toe touch basket toss.
and pom's finally finished the routine. so
all we need is to drill it over and over again,
im cant be too sure of the consistency.
and that scares me so much.
it's one thing to get on the mat and see everyone scream and shout and you cant hear
anything cause you've gone deaf for a split second and all you hear is your heart pounding,
it's another thing when the music starts and you know you gotta keep going without mistake.
practice makes perfect.
and i havent had much practice hence why i think perfect might be impossible.

ive had such a rough couple of days,
dance trainings 8 hours a week. cheer stunt trainings taking up almost 6-8 hours a week.
and ive had non stop training everyday for both events each day.
and not to mention i have assignments to worry bout.

you know what i need,
i need someone to help pick me up from the ground, because at this point,
i think im close to collapsing for good.

i know these are all unwanted stress
but its something i kind of love doing. i just dont like how it's so disorganized.

xx

and some days,
i wonder if it is ever worth it?

answer:
-busted ankle
-aching back
-bruised knee
- muscle aches

no. it's not

random pics

<3






glee gone wild?
read dianna agron's tumblr.
felldowntherabbithole.tumblr.com
(how i know? a friend follows her and e news quoted from her tumblr, so i figured)

i was looking at some pictures for vogue india,
i love this shot,
which is what i wrote about.
here's the link,
http://doubled1stblog.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/bollywood-dreams/#more-505



peace homie.
my eye is back to normal.
aside from the occasional sneezing and running nose and slightly itchy eyes from hay fever,
but swelling has indeed stopped.

xx

because i feel better and not so frigging pmsy

so i feel much better now and i decided to just release all my anger by eating and doing what i love most,
which at this point be sleep.

so we had partner stunting friday as usual and since
i didnt have class today i went to watch them.
so here's abit of what they do.































and then i headed of for pom prac where i think we did fairly a lot, i wouldnt have mind if we
stayed extra actually.
i love the feeling when i dance. i may not be fabulous in it,
(ie; when our whole group just burst out laughing cause a step-ball-change ended up looking like a horse galloping when i did it)
but i love it when i do get things right and it goes with the music and when im sweating it all out.
feels good.
and because of all the floor work we did, i now have a bruise on my knee.
:)


nothing's changed in my life, pom is stressing me out, but this comp is the last one for me to think about till next year.
and ive got 5 more weeks till im home.
assessment week is coming up which means all my assignments are wrapping up
and im hoping to go by with flying colours.

i just spent the entire day typing out things for photography.
tmw?
photoshoot with sarah lee and i might see weiren since i havent seen him in ages and
actually start my final for pne.
or i will be so screwed.

ps: MUM'S HERE TMW NIGHT. woohhh!
i miss her heaps.
xx

the way i see it? you either give me my passport on my birthday
and trust me with it because hell am i not missing the after party.
or you give me the damn documents so i can fill up that form to get the id.

your choice.
either way, im going and NO ONE IS GOING TO FUCKING STOP ME.

ive done so much in this team i sure as hell deserve to enjoy every single bit of it.

update

im exhausted. i cant even type this properly.
after class yesterday which we handed in our assignment for,
and fingers crossed i get it cause if i do, not only does my cover get printed but i get $100.
i sent in 3 different layouts, so lets just hope for the best!

hung out with izzat after







we had abit to eat at max b and then i headed off for cheer
and along the way i saw a flash mob



cheer was good cause we actually did something :D
but alot to finish and
i just found out im ding another group stunt for level 3. which just means harder tricks.
the only thing that im worried for is that i dont have enough time. :S
i have bout 2 more practices, then it's comp. the next week for me is gonna be PACKED!


today was good.
finished class early and then i headed with julia and andy to do some things
and then we hung out at rmit to do some work and then me and julia
went for pom which went also rather well.

now, im home, exhausted. hoping to sleep.
sigh.
but my life doesnt stop till 1.00 am at least.

xx

this was done in 15 mins tops.
and seriously, i think i like this layout, compared to the ones ive done
in like 2-3 hours.

moral of story:
DONT THINK TOO MUCH!

PARAMORE!

finally dania uploaded the video for the only exception :)

two covers that made my night

a real omg moment

WANNA KNOW SOMETHING STUPID!?

GUESS WHO WALKED RIGHT PASSED ME WHEN I WAS HEADING FOR CHEER PRAC
NEAR CHAPEL ST!!!


DONT KNOW WHO SHE IS??



NOW DO YOU KNOW?!

OMFG!
SHE WAS RIGHT THERE! NEXT TO ME.
AND I SWEAR I KNEW IT WAS HER BUT SHE WAS WEARING A COAT AND A HAT
REALLY TRYING TO COVER UP.
BUT OMG SHE WAS SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF GUYS (WHO LOOKED LIKE HER BODY GUARDS)
and the thing is,

the people in front of me didnt stop and double check so i thought i was seeing things,
but i did anyway and they were just walking off,
turns out,
she's here for the 7pm project tmw.
HAHHHHH! I KNEW IT!
UGH
I COULD HAVE FREAKING ASKED FOR HER AUTOGRAPH OR A PHOTO WITH HER BUT I DIDNT.
-.-'
I FEEL SO STUPID.

*SLAPS HEAD HARD*

monday ache's.

the view from where im sitting?
everyone's got their computer out and we're all doing our work.

even though its a pain to bring my computer,
i get to do all this.

sundayyy

so what does the usual sunday bring for me?

a sore neck and more muscles.
yes,
i had cheer.
:)

we were the earliest to arrive.
poor jamie was sick.




that's joseph!






shakira's back from sunny kl!


and you cant see my red highlights anymore. HOW SAD!
what was red is now dark brown.
my stupid brown has become so bright. it makes it look so LALA.
eeeee.

i based for the second or third time today.
yes im strong. wheeee.
it shoes,
SIZE IS NOT A FACTOR!

this week?
can you say HECTIC?

xx

lets do some reminicing

i miss the thought of having someone call me almost every night
just to ask how my day was or how his day was.

i miss having someone to stay up late with me because i have to study or i've got an assignment
to finish.

i miss receiving messages in the middle of the night or early in the morning that
usually will make my day.

i miss someone holding my hand during lunch or movies.

i miss having someone play songs on the guitar for me.

i miss someone buying credit for me because if not, i'd have to go alone.

i miss getting hugs and arms wrapped around me so i feel safe and is his territory.

i miss hearing you bitch,cry or complain bout anything in your life so i can help advice you.

i miss getting you back on track with your studies because you know how much i
want to help you.

i miss getting surprises in my locker or in general from that someone.

i miss bonding with any of your family members.

i miss hanging out with you and your friends.

i miss not being alone.

FOUNDATION SPRING PARTY 2010

so i really should be doing my work.
considering i came to the library.
but im far too lazy or more like im procrastinating.

so i'll do a quickie bout last night.
it wasnt so bad. aside from the fact that it was chilly and wet, it went well.
the dj sucked. had horrible choice of songs,
and the dance floor was filled with weird people. and they said art students were weird -.-'
if it wasnt for my classmates, i wouldnt have had a blast.






people reckon we look alike.
so ever since the beginning of the year, ive always thought of her as my other sister.
we kinda act the same in some ways.














the two boys in my group.
(trust me, they get all the attention)






















meet guy no 1:
this is brandon, from korea. he's 25.


meet guy no 2:
yuki, from japan. who loves eating olives.




































story bout this boy:
he was from my group but he left, and he surprised us all when he came last night. :)








presenting most of group 3.







my girls :')


isnt yuki just adorable? :)








this is ting.
she's on the same train line as me.
and she's freaking tall :p

xx