SINGAPORE

so a couple of weeks ago, me and my bestie, Lisa planned a roadtrip to Singapore.
purely to shop and binge on all the local/good food and just a teeny weeny bit of sight seeing.


so it started out like this, Tuesday night I stayed over my bestie's place, and caught up with Nariza, who just got back from Paris and coincidentally was heading to singapore the day after as well but
with ther fam, so dinner was at Sushi Tei at Tropicana City mall. AWESOME JAPANESE FOOD.

we binged. most of that was elisa's and mine lol

  

The next day, our roadtrip started bright and early at 7.30am heading to Johor's Premium designer outlet. Wasn't intending on doing much shopping but found myself new pair of nike trainers for an amazing price! wheee. I'm excited to get myself back in the gym after the eating i've been doing :O

nik, lisa's boyfriend who was our designated driver the entire trip

 

then we checked in to our hotel, which was at Citrus, for what we paid (which was cheap) the hotel I must say was pretty decent despite the dodgy location which also happened to be right outside the Johor border checkpoint.

then we (can you imagine), Bussed it to the Woodlands checkpoint, went through immigration, bussed it again from the checkpoint to the city. Walked around and went through the trains and nik nearly got fined for eating ahahha and then got to a little place in the city called 'Little India' and had Nasi bryani for dinner :) then walked around a mall, which in all seriousness you can find anything you want in there called Mustafa and then went through the trains, busses and walked back to the hotel and slept.

 

the next day, was more intended on shopping (for real). Feeling lazy, we drove in this time. Went for lunch at a nearby mall and I finally get to check off chicken rice off my eating list this holiday. Spent a bomb at H&M, FINALLY FOUND MY BLACK CLUBMASTER RAYBANS, and GOT MY NAKED BY URBAN DECAY PALLETE! SOOOOO HAPPY. After massive spending, we headed to zam zam for singapore's famous murtabak! which was delish!

made with pretty pretty flowers, kinda reminded me of mum when I saw this.

take 1

take 2

the damage done..

got back to the hotel and had the best sleep i've had in maybe the past week. ahahha. Spent the next morning getting ready and checking out from the hotel and went for food nearby and started out journey back which took up the entire afternoon and evening and glad I can finally say, I'm home :)

So glad I agreed to doing this roadtrip. Atleast my holidays here arent exactly going to a waste.

Cant wait to see what else I have planned before I head back! 

22 days! wheeeee

my heartly rant

 you asked for honesty, the pure and blunt truth, so from me to you, here it is.

What i did, is something Im going to have to live with for as long as this relationships lasts. Had I been smarter bout the way I acted and took your feelings into consideration and acknowledged the fact that you did like me back then, NONE of this would have happened.

I can't change the past but I can definitely mold my future based on this.  YOU, are the best thing that's happened to me in the past 2 years and I hope you realize how much I value what you do, who you are and how you've been towards me. I may not show it often, I know I let my insecurities, my doubts, my mood swings, my nonsensical and non logical defensive arguments get in the way of telling you what I really mean. So forgive me, after all I'm only human. I might not have acted responsibly on many levels with and towards you, but know that I'm willing to change all that this year. If it means I get to say "happy one year" to you next year.

If you asked me if I was still scared, I'd say yes. Why? your words seem more like threats to me and I know you know that. You say I'm your one and only and half the things you say to me is a joke but my heart stops a beat every time I hear those words. I stop to think "is this all a game? if it is, you've won." but then again, who's to blame but myself for putting myself in this situation. Yet you say you see for the person that I am today, and quite frankly if anything, I think less of myself which sometimes and always has me questioning why you could still love me.

I just really really dont wanna lose you. Not now, not ever. And I dont think you see that, or understand the immensity of how scared I am and how much I'm trying to hold on to you. Sure enough, I might piss you off some days, and drive you up your walls some days, but I really hope that doesn't give you an excuse to use that against me. I PRAY that it doesn't. I don't wanna hold my feelings back with you. You deserve to see and have the real me, everything included, which means you'll see me at my best and at my lowest and my at worst. 

I have 22 days left before I get to see you again, and I can honestly say I'm learning to love you more for what this relationship really is and should be about. I'm finally realizing the little things mean so much more to me. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" they say, and I'm also beginning to realize how true that is. If anything, it's going to make/has made us a lot stronger as a couple, as individuals. On a plus note, I've learnt to trust you more than I gave myself credit for. So kudos to you for making me someone a lot wiser and better when in a relationship. 

I can't wait to come home to you.

xx

Dear demie,

Learn to trust your heart more and learn to shut your mouth or better yet, if you'd like to speak, learn to rephrase your sentences correctly so your heart and your head can work together because not only do you make yourself sound like a complete idiot but you're just confusing yourself more and more. You've got such an awesome guy in your life right now and the last thing you should and wanna do is mess things up further than you already have! So why can't you for once act smartly. Yes, you prob don't have the brains like your sister but you GOTTA start acting/think smarter. Before it's too late...

Sincerely,
Your intuition

because even a million miles away from you, and i still feel so close to you.

our skype calls mean a lot to me. i know what happened changed a few things, but im glad you stuck around.. i promise you it'll be worthwhile.

you and i babe, for the long term. <3

oh the things i find at my grandparent's place....

we'll float like a dragon and eat like a king!

 reunion dinners..

to the actual day..starting with my mum's side

 

 

 

   finally coordinated the first time with both families

the grandkids minus my sister

 

 

the three generations

and then off to the dad's and stepmum's side..

my nana on my stepmum's side

the 5 grandkids with the grandparents

GONG XI FA CAI!
wishing all a prosperous new year of the dragon, may it bring you luck and happiness :)
from, yours truly.

so im back on the motherland.
Sometimes i kinda have to slap myself in the morning and ask if this is really happening.
Home doesnt feel like home anymore, cause if home is where the heart is,
my home is far away from me right now.
My heart's aching from being so far away from the one that truly means the most to me right now.
I ask myself countless of times why I decided to stay this long on my trip, and simple enough,
I didnt have him in my life back then when i made my decision.. should i have known, i'd be back sooner than I expected.

Obviously I came back for family obligations.. the last time I was back was a year ago, and quite frankly not much has changed.. the places dont seem that different, the people.. yeah i forgot what the people here were like, rude..uncivilized, lazy..
The amount of times I have to repeat in my head that I'm here for my family, is uncountable.

There are a lot of things i'm afraid of..
The main one being the fact that I'm not sure how much will change when I go back. Uni's going to start,I've got a job with cotton on.. how am I going to find time for him? How's he going to find time for me when he's going to be working full time with one job and as a casual for his other?
it really does scare me.

the rest is more when im here and he's there..
If you know me, you'd know im the most insecure girl you could ever find when in a relationship.
it's not that I dont trust him. I do, not fully but enough. I just dont trust his better judgement about the girls there. He's reassured me countless of times and yet we're still able to burn more fuel in this argument, the same damn argument..why? simply because im scared to death that he's going to find someone better than me and yet even miles away, I still lie awake wondering bout his whereabouts and if he's home safe, what's he doing? who's he with? 
it's a good thing for whatsapp and viber.. and internet services. ahhaha
that's the only way im going to communicate with him for the next 33 days...

because sometimes, what he doesnt know.. wont kill him.
and what doesnt kill me, only makes me stronger. To me, it's a matter of sucking it up, and pretending it'll all be okay. Because I for one, always assume the worst in people and situations..

I'm growing up now and it's something I have to deal with. the changes, the heartbreaks, the patience, the insecurities..sometimes i feel like im growing up way too fast.

such a cutie for sending me to the airport

33 more days till i get to be with you again! <3

new year...new....piercing? ;)

here, something just to entertain you.



or if you simply want something nice to listen to <3

Cause i think i've found the best thing that's going/has/will happen for me this year and 

*cross fingers* for the many years to come. 

I couldnt have asked for someone better who could care for me the way he does.

the best feeling in the world,
is when you hug me from behind when im washing the dishes and you sweep
my hair to one side and you lean down and slowly and gently kiss me on my neck and then my shoulders, and then you just stand there and squeeze me tight and whisper the 3 words you seldom say to me but when you do, they sound AMAZING.

moments like that i feel infinite.
makes me dream and imagine the possibilities of our future together.

your love is king baby, and i swear, you’re my everything.

things i’ve learnt:
the people you used to know arent the same people who you will know in the present or in your near future. people change. Sometimes from the wrong doings you’ve done or sometimes because there were/are just better people other than yourself out there. It’s a lot harder to tell yourself to move on, forget your past, and brace your future. Because truth is, half the people you met and got close to in the past are the reasons for your future whether it's going to turn out great or a an absolute downright fall. I’ve had to deal with my fair share of punishments and demons i had to fight to get to where i am today,

and that is:
A community of good friends, good friends I now know i can trust. Even if they were people i never knew i’d ever be close to. A relationship I wouldnt think twice anymore to abuse. The immensity of the love i feel for this boy makes me realize how valuable one can be to someone, like he is with me and I cant imagine loosing him just yet or ever for that matter.

I’ve never been more proud of my heart,
it’s dealt with a lot of heartbreaks in 2011, a lot of hardships and countless of times that I had to depend on it for my better judgements.. and to think it still beats stronger and maybe a lot wiser than it has been… makes me so much happier because I finally FEEL and know, that I’m not that same girl anymore or at least I dont want to be, that IM growing up.

definitely started the year with a bang!
got drowned amongst the sea of people from fed square to help jess, and cam by photographing D2 Drumline who performed and then walked all the way to docklands with my boy to watch the fireworks. :)

couldnt have asked for a better way to start the 2012 year!

i dont think i've ever followed any of my new year resolutions.. mainly because i forget what they are.
but i have to admit, this year has been one of the hardest years i've had to go through.

but next years resolution:
-score a gpa of 3 and above
-do more freelance design work to get my name out there
-get a new piercing or tattoo
-take up a new sport
-be more active in the gym
-SPEND LESS MONEY
-learn how to save
-keep a healthy relationship with every family member
-maintain the relationship i have right now with the boy im completely and utterly in love with
-be more patient
-keep a stable job
-to be less sick


new year wants:
- a pair of raybans
- more mac products
- the 'return to tiffany and co' ring
- more heels from tony bianco
- the lipstick heels I've been eyeing for almost a month now


here's to a good new year eh?
xx