spotted: D coming back?

konichiwa bitches. :)
yes, im coming back.
told you i would.

it took a email from the sister and a night like last night
to FINALLY realize
everything.
i know right.i bet you're saying right now "FINALLY!"

but along the way, i thank
weiren,ian,nicole and nasri.
kudos to you guys.
for without you guys i would have really slammed my head against the wall.
aha.

it made me realize that
yes, i am obsessive and i am paranoid and possessive
3 quarters of my life, but the one thing i never was,
was desperate.
and i realized that's what you made me become and i forbid anyone to ever
make me feel like that or be given the ability to use me ever again.

so, if you're reading this,
congrats. you've made me hate and give you up entirely.
im just hoping that we could be friends and leave it in the past and i
wont have the need to touch that topic anymore.
thanks.
so when you're not in a pissy mood and able to talk to me, i would appreciate that.
proof of reassurance?
the date doesnt seem to affect me that much anymore.
i truly am amazed at myself.
heh

first of,
HAPPY DEEPAVALI TO ALL THEM INDIANS. ;)

last night.
was fun.
so we ate and drank.
and then those who stayed over drank more.
and yea.
fill in the blanks there.
and i only slept for 3 hours, from 7-10 this morning.
how fun.
i finally found out how it feels like to stay up the whole morning. :)

lawrence, if you're reading this,
i promise you i didnt take much. :)
only maybe 3 quarters of bacardi and coke, a glass of wine and in total of 8 shots of
bacardi and tequila.
but..
i made a mistake of eating curry chicken after that cause we were all hungry
at like 2 am haha.
and i puked it all out.
so i was fine. :)
dont kill me.
i ended up taking care of others. ahah

anyway,
nabbers, i love you entirely.
and i hope in some twisted way, we have more nights like last night.
i loved talking to you in the wee hours.
i had so much fun. :)

pics.
(im currently waiting for more from benita. so hang in there)




marie lim


tim




megan

naa


ze hostess




nabbers


take 1


take 2

"guys get together"
*stones*
(take 1)
"move la yoh!"
(take 2) :)




benita.
you owe me pictures and lunch woman. :D


trina


man's best friend,
zorro


trina found it disturbing. lol
at the way zorro was just clinging on her like that. aha


yen


kun




"IM BENNY BOY."
:)




eryse and trina




nabbers, naa, eryse and trin


the lovebirds. :)


this is him, slanting. :P
and me tip toeing.
yeah you can just imagine. lol


i love this picture. :)




jeanni and leenna


i had my muruku last nigth!:D
yes, i finally had it. aha


the birthday girl.


picture of the night. lol
they were terrified of jeanni.





stay tuned..

xoxo

its just for a while, i promise

im closing this blog for a while.
dont worry,
its just temporary.
i need time finding myself again.
though the reason should be for spm.
heh

things just couldnt have gotten more fucked today.
but whatever.

so sorry.
who knows, i'll probably update one fine day.

till then,
much love.

xx

love the new header? ;)
i do.

wanna know something?
weng yan did it.
yes she did. all on her own.
isnt she fucking brilliant at photoshopping. :D

i LOVE IT. :D

thank you love.


PS: quote by lord byron
xx

redemption.

IM DONE. :D
well almost la.
one last paper tomorrow.
which is est, so it doesnt really count. :)

after that,
i think we're all going out to makan makan
at ou i suppose.

oh oh!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:

i love this photo of us. :)
happy birthday love.
hope you had a ball.
we'll enjoy tomorrow while we still can eh?
and thank you so much for being there for me.
i know whatever you tell me is just a way for looking out for me.
thank you. :)
love you loads leennakins.
we'll rock prom this year! ;)

AND


angelina saw mei yi.
a.k.a. my backbone buddy.
happy sweet 16.
im envious towards you. lol
i love your present from jason. ahaha.
wish you all the best love. :)

and im gonna sleep.
my head was pounding the whole of maths.
PS: i think i did rather okay for ncc. :D

xx

everything needs a little moderation.

i dont even wanna talk about the exams.
-.-
i think i fucked bio. aha.
im not suprised, when you're forced to read chem and then physics and last bio
which needs the most memorizing, you kinda lose the
semangat.

as for physics,
ms tan, please dont kill me.
i have no idea what got into me.
i drew my graph wrongly.
what even worse, it was a simple straight line graph.-.-
fml.

maths and ncc tomorrow.
both of which i plan to study
because
1) i am NOT going to stone for 2 and a half hours doing absolutely NOTHING.
2) i cant sleep in class.
could never.
my back causes too much pain when i lean on the table.
3) i need to distract myself.

then its the last of est.
and then im done.

hallelujah.
xx

cause im going old school.

ahmad drew this for me the other night.
and i couldnt stop laughing.
"im so dead wei."-demie
"yeah indeed kakak."-ahmad.

*click to enlarge.

and if you're wondering why juno's ahmad and how he's related to me?(fictional)

thats the wonderful family tree. :)

lets get lost. somewhere. anywhere.

studied bio the whole day yesterday.
and went for an open house at night.
and took a nap in the afternoon.
thats how interesting my saturday was.
how was yours?

today?
im spending sunday with physics.
but im rather prepared for physics.
so im not worrying much.
heading to see granny later. :)
and then its tuition at 8. hoemahgawd kill me.
sigh.

and so i bid this blog farewell again for another 4 more days
of intense exams.
(well not really intense)
aha.

:O

xx

if only.

ive been slacking. aha.
which isnt so good.

i found out my add maths paper 1 results.
i can say it's definitely better than my trial 1 results but omg.
i made so many stupid careless mistakes. -.-
moral of story: dont sleep later than 11.30 on night before the exam.
crap. -.-

everything else seems sort of okay for now.
imma study bio today. (:
and physics tomorrow.
this week is gonna be a such a breeze. whooh.

imma go mandi now.
toodles.
xx

LEARN AND COMPREHEND PEOPLE!

now, i told you dearest peeps,
that im not in the most brightest/happiest place on earth right now.
ive got shit loads to deal with.
hence, i release my stress and words and little
train of thoughts all here
cause it's MY BLOG for a reason.

now, if you guys think ITS TOO EMO,
then dont read it.
its a very simple solution.
if you wanna go find the jolly olly happy blogs,
go search for more on the links i have down on the right hand side of this page.

but if you're stubborn and yearn for the gossip and
the pain i go through
and think you follow through or maybe just
feel like you're feeling like i am,
then go ahead and read it, you're welcomed to.
if not,
piss off.
i dont have time wasting it on haters like you.

im already wasting my time chasing for something that wont be mine anymore.
so leave me ALONE.

xx

i'll tell the world i've turned lesbian.

so for that one day, i dont have to worry or have you in my head.

xx

never gonna be the same again

week 1 is done.

it wasnt all so bad.
the papers seem easier than trial 1. which a good thing.
im kinda pleased with everything i did so far.
but i know i still made loads of mistakes here and there.

i hated moral today.
not only did it feel like it was never gonna end,
but they just had to put the kk picture in the papers.
best still it was big.
and there right in the center was your face.
how nice -.-

sigh

still to come:
monday
PHYSICS 1
PHYSICS 2
PHYSICS 3
tuesday
BIO 1
BIO 2
EST 2
BIO3
wednesday
MATHS1
NCC
MATHS 2
thursday
EST 1

and then its two weeks before study leave and then SPM.
:S

xx

Im on a break.

first week:
monday
BM 1
BM2
SEJARAH 1
tueday
ENGLISH 1
ENGLISH 2
SEJARAH 2
wednesday
ADDMATHS 1
ADDMATHS 2
CHEM 3
thursday
CHEM1
CHEM 2
MORAL

so far, its been shit. well not really.
made a few mistakes here and there, but i think im doing far better than i did
in trial 1.
that's a major relief.
sigh.

but im still having troubles concentrating.
the countless of times i had to slap myself to make myself focus again.
aha. its amazing.
my thumb has been having pins and needles since 4 pm on monday.
nice.
i cant write properly.


back to the books.
i hate the next two days.
xx

so long.

studied sejarah the whole day yesterday.
after getting up at 12.
didnt go for the dinner in the end.
so yeah.

and im gonna do bm and sejarah today.
sigh.
i hate you trials.
i really do.

i had two weird dreams last night.
one involving you.
cant remember much but i was shouting at you and i started crying.
i woke up immediately after that.
and realized i was actually crying.
fell back asleep,
and then rob came in the picture.
ahaha.
that i remember. it was bout ducks.
so weird i tell you.
lol

anyway, i bid this blog farewell for a good two weeks
or so.

much love.
xx

PS: you had a good girl and she was a keeper, but you didnt know how to treat her.
silly boy.

just because you say so, doesnt mean its right.

people dont change. thats a fact.
and if they do, its not called a change. its called a slight adjustment.
nobody ever forgets who they really are.
it's like trying to be a complete mess when you actually suffer from OCD.
it's only a slight adjustment.
well actually, you can change. but it requires years and years of dedication.
but knowing us human beings, we're lazy. so we tend to lose the effort.

i wish people would stop calling me a sadist.
cause IM NOT.
and i wish people like ben would stop telling people i suffer from a psychological disorder of which
i like to inflict pain on myself. -.-
like how he told ms sharon and she freaked out.
because I DONT.
its just that ive decided to stop at the bus station called depression.
and the bus of life hasnt decided to come pick me up to visit other stops,
like happiness.
so be patient, i'll get there. for the mean time,
im just gonna walk around the streets of depression and see what's there that makes this stop
really interesting.
i dont believe in fate nor faith.cause they've proved me all wrong.
so the whole optimism and positivity thing, yeah its not me.
i lost hope in all those things already.

xx

blood links.

via facebook:

Berlin Liew so can we start talking now? i think you've disappeared out of my life for way too long. my heart hurts. i've got a package for you.

(corny = 2 points)

wow. who knew my sister and i had such a bond.
it amazes me.

PS: ive been doing add maths since 5.30 just now.
i think i deserve a round of applause. :)

come home

studied today.
and decided to visit my grandma.
make sure she was okay. (:

and who better to ask than her
to help me alter something of mine.
she's an awesome seamstress. ;)
she was so bored at home.
all alone.
so kesian.
im glad i accompanied her for a while. :)
she was so suprise to see me banging on the gate. lol
so cute la.

im back home and i have tuition soon. then its more studying for me.
the class guys wants to have dinner tomorrow night at souled out in hartamas.what perfect timing.
i dont even know if i can go.
aha.

trials.pshtt.
bring it on. ;)

xx

we walk.

blogger's being a bitch
i cant seem to upload pictures. meh

for the first time in a very long time.
i cried.
i literally poured my eyes out.
im getting too worked up.
about EVERYTHING.

my eyes are literally swollen right now.
oh well.
im gonna do some sejarah soon.

see ya.
xx