SPOTTED: D found out something new.

i decided to do something new.
so yeah. here it goes.



and i bet you're wondering why?
ever get that feeling where

thats what i go through every day.
and i stop to think is it because of me? is it because of school?
is it because of you?
i ALWAYS feel like im stuck between

but either way,
i think they both involve you.
its hard it really is.
i have to keep reminding myself you're not like others.
and sometimes that could mean a good thing and some times, not so much.


who can accept me for being the shitty, annoying, paranoid, concerned, obsessed,
organized, loving person that i am.

but sometimes i feel like im having to try SO HARD to get you to see ME.
to get you to UNDERSTAND me.
to KNOW who i really am.
why arent we blissfully happy as we once were when we first got together.
i feel like we're drifting apart.

why?because



clearly you dont.
cause ive NEVER been like this before.
you always tell me

or in other words, to be less stressed. to relax.
but how can i??



that would make things ALOT easier for me. -.-
wanna know a secret?

its true.
really it is. i just wish you knew that. i wish you could see how hard im trying.
my effort im putting in.
and to be frank, i dont feel like your meeting me halfway.

wanna know something else?


and when i dont, thats the best time ever!
because for once, i feel like you. carefree.
and to an extend, that scares me. what happens to the things that has to be taken cared off?

but i think one of it would be for you
to TRY. and make the EFFORT.
dont i have your best interest at heart? doesnt what i do or how i am matter to you?
i never want you to the things you dont want to do.
i'm not and would never try and pull you from your friends.
i hardly see you besides the weekend which is not enough
to even pull you away from your friends.
you know what might be nice from you?

especially to me.
im not kidding when i say

i know that

but i wish you'd start now before its too late.
deep down inside i say to myself sometimes

and

and then i think about it all and say

i wish i could teach you how lovely and lucky you are to have someone like ME.
im not mad. dont get me wrong.
and the last thing i need from us both is a fight though

but all i ask is that you try.
cause im leaving in a few months time.
and im trying to spend as much time as i can with you.
after that you could do whatever the hell it is you want to do.
so till then,


and nothing will change that.
i hope i could say the same for you. but i guess the only way is to hear it from you
yourself.
so whats taking you so long?
i want so much for us. i really do. and sometimes i feel like im just asking WAY too much.
but i know im not.
please.

xoxo

spotted: d leaving a funeral?

whiles you guys were busy watching 90210
which basically defines my tuesday tv nights.
i had to skip it to accompany mum to a funeral.
and i was in the gym mind you when i was told bout it.

the day i get off free from anything
and i cant relax.
i think god never likes seeing me relaxed.
there always has to be something to stress me out.
i dont deal good with funerals.
its gives me too many vivid memories i dont intend to relive.
trust me, i tried every excuse i could to get out of it.
sigh.

i think my alter ego is back.
Q1, where have you been?
i've been missing you.
how did you ever cope with so much stress?

xoxo

told you so

i remember telling iman,
on her personality test that if i were to take it,
my paranoid section would be rated high.

boy was i not kidding.

Disorder Rating Information Paranoid: High more info | forum Schizoid: Low more info | forum Schizotypal: Moderate more info | forum Antisocial: Low more info | forum Borderline: Moderate more info | forum Histrionic: Moderate more info | forum Narcissistic: Moderate more info | forum Avoidant: Moderate more info | forum Dependent: High more info | forum Obsessive-Compulsive: High more info | forum

yeah. sounds like me alright.

i draw when im bored. got a problem with that?

xoxo

im the girl with the best intentions

lemme recap backwards.
today,
happy fathers day. (:
to both dads.
thank you for everything.
i love you both.



dad picked me up this afternoon around lunch.
and we headed back to the hse while waiting for karen and the kids.
and then we headed to papa's cafe
at atria.
where we had western and escargos. :D
yummers.
oh oh! i saw chris, the ex form 5 there. lol.

went back and played with the litle brothers.
koen is adorable.
he can talk now which is really really cool. cause all he says most of the time is
"whats that for?" lol and he gives pretty good slobbers. :p
and kaizer's getting so big. :S
he's already six and like is scoring A's in his exam. god he's another berlin. -.-
am i the only dumbass in the family?
and then dad sent me off to granny's. and then it was home with mum after dinner.

i found out two things today:
1) taylor's college logo was actually done by my dad. lol
and now he's currently working on sunway college's
2) kaizer is probably the only one i know who can lick his elbow too























t






sat
got up in the morning to get ready to head to elisa's hse.
her dad was tutoring her maths when i got there. lol.
so i decided to listen on. but got bored and watched gossip girl upstairs. lol.
left around 1
to head to her granduncles hse for lunch.
i swear right, ive met everyone in her whole family at this rate. :p
left after that to head to assunta to catch the boyfriend,
only to realize
we missed his performance.
sorry swettie. :)
hung around there and then me and gary headed home with jian yong.

didnt do much but sleep. and lepaked in my room.
had dinner and then he went home around 10.30
and i collapsed at bout 11.

pictures will be up as soon as elisa blogs.

friday
school wasnt so bad.
ran 800 m for fitness test. when it was screeching hot. -.-
and then came home to sleep but couldnt cause the air cond people were here.
tuition later on.
and when that was over,
i went online.
and found two long lost siblings.
ian and brenda. :)
who knew we all were SO alike. lol.
no, seriously. lol
but i had such a great time talking to them both.
like for once, i didnt feel at all stressed about anything. like everything just went away. (:
thanks you guys.
♥

thursday-monday
was shit.
my brain literally has been shut off this whole week.
im not use to studying la. meh.
and mother ass, we have to re read form 4 ALL OVER AGAIN
for damn trials.
fuck fuck fuck.
im so screwed.
for someone who studied two months or so before mid years right,
i did awfully bad.
sei lor.
ive got whole of july to study for trials that will be in early august.

everyone's in such a studious mood
it annoys me
im not like feeling that now. -.-

sigh.

and another week passed and i survived.
here's to another coming.

xoxo

it feels like a long time

happy 2 months. (:
its feels like its been a darn long time aint it.

xoxo

spotted: d heading home depressed?

i wonder who among those
actually say school is fun. -.-
i find it depressing.

so much for maintaining good results.pfft.
but then again i said good bye to my class test results. i knew they were gonna
be long gone.

i didnt fail add maths! :D
so far ive got like
eng-82 A2
physics-77 A2
sej-67 B4
add maths-58 C6
chem-55 C6
maths-80 A2
EST- 75 A2
moral- 50 D7
Bio-77 A2

bahahhahah!
im just glad i didnt fail anything. pfft.

why dont i get to spend time with you in school?
its probably cause you're too busy with your friends.
pfft.

ATTENTION ALL

ATTENTION TO ALL SENIORS OF
SRI KDU
AND ALSO TO THE PUBLIC,
WE ARE NOW SELLING THE PROM TICKETS

details:
1) its gonna be held on the 16th of dec
2) its at the Gardens, Mid Valley hotel.
3) theme is 'happily ever after'

ticket pricing:
1) early birds- rm140 (LIMITED TO 50 PACKS ONLY)
2)late comers- rm150

if your interested let us know asap!
contact any of the prom committee members for it.
its on a first come first serve basis and we will only guarantee you a ticket as soon as you
pay us.
so bring your money. :)

for more details:
http://www.srikduprom2009.blogspot.com/

you've gotta love spelling bee's

omg.
for a form 5, i sure suck. lol.
yes.

i cant spell. :D
you read right,
i CAN'T.

and akram's there with me in that hollow hole for people who suck at spelling bee's.
i knew it the minute ms susan said
"we're gonna have a spelling test" that i was so dead. o.o

ahaha.
xoxo

when the morning sun peeps and says hello. (:

omg.
who knew waking up at 6 could be so hard. -.-
i kinda forgot how my whole schedule went.
like, two weeks ago, every day when i got up,
i had a schedule to follow.
like from getting up, to switching on the radio, to turning on the water pump and so on.
and i got up this morning
completely blank. o.o

quite the funny.
i was stonning in bed for like a good 5 minutes wondering what i usually do.

got to school. which kinda felt like a relief.
its nice having that hectic live of yours.
keeps you occupied. (:

getting results wasnt so bad.
bio and physics so far are looking good. though i havent gotten my full marks yet.
chem- 52. aha. (no one got an a or a b mind you) lol
add maths- paper 1-47/80 BAHAHAA!
yeah. im still waiting for that.
shaun and i made a bet, if i can get atleast 60.
i owe him lunch. lol.

but so far so good.
now its gonna be full on studying and prom stuffies to deal with.
meh.
and the monitorial thing which is suppose to be running again shortly.
gah.
how do i fit my time for other things. ;(
form 5 is so depressing.

xoxo

good bye till god knows when.


damn, school is starting in a few hours.
pfft.
and im gonna be santa tomorrow giving all the cool presents i bought for people.
lucky ass.

MYE results. :(
go away.

xoxo

sleeping habits

have you ever wondered what you do when you sleep?
i mean its common to snore.
but like what else?

apparently i twitch when i sleep.
and my lips move. lol
how weird.

but i dont snore. nor do i drool. lol.

it got me thinking.
hah

xoxo

happy belated birthday

to dinie. (:
who just turned 18 yesterday.


i spent the whole day at home yesterday. (:
and gary came over around 9 something.
meh.

and i ended up falling asleep every two hours. lol.
and so did he.
he snored. :P and i was so ready to record it. lol.
how fun.
but i didnt. (:
see im so nice. lol.

had late lunch at the club
and then mum took us out for dinner around mutiara damansara for jap.
and then we came home. and i slept again. lol
then his dad came to pick him up and i fell asleep. wheee.

im staying in today.
cause school's tomorrow. :(
and im so not used to it.

xoxo

home?

yes.
you heard me right.

im back. ;)

xoxo

twenty seconds till the last call

xoxo

im leaving..on a jet plane. (:

i just came home. from spending the whole day with the sister. (:

lets see, we got up and headed down for coffee first at a place where
the sister likes.
i have to admit, they had the most DELICIOUS coffee ever!
and then she took me to the arts supply store which btw i could have gone really crazy in
but i didnt. (:
i bought these artist markers from faber castle which you dont find back in kl.
nyaha!
and then we walked around more and headed to uni.
where she sat and studied and i read. (:

went for lunch at a malaysian/singaporian restaurant called
norsiah.
and then we went by fiza's place to grab jackets.
cause me and the sister, oh so smartly didnt dress smartly.
"it was sunny! i swear"
"yeah, now its windy! "
sei lor!

and then we went to follow fiza run some errands and then it was off to koko black.
which is literally a chocolate shop.
and we had hot chocolate.
damn nice. (:
and then hung around to talk for a bit and then it was home. (:
where mum's cooking for our last family dinner. wheee.

pics.










tea









take 1&2




'religious' people. ;)


candid






koko black.





the end.
xoxo

its better.

last day here. (:
and im spending it with the sister. at where?
UNI. -.-
lol. she's gotta study so i said nevermind, i'll sit and read.
meh.
she was suppose to take me to an art supply shop anyway.

the weather's looking nice today. (:
sunny.
thank god.

things arent okay.
but they're better.

i thank that man up there.
both.

xoxo

i feel so stupid. -.-

thank god. its the ending of the holidays.
cause i couldnt have found a better time for me to break down.
sigh.
im heading home tomorrow night.
thank god for that.

for this one time, i know i brought it on to myself.
pfft. why la demie. why.
for just this one time too, im letting myself freeze by the ice cold weather.
it makes my fingers and toes go all numb.
it nice not feeling anything.
makes you forget for a while how you're suppose to feel

if only you knew how much i still want you to come to the airport.
i wanna make things right.
i really wanna see you.
but if you're not willing to. its fine.